Mr. White is a cook in a fancy restaurant, but he has an unusual way to entertain his customers. We would rather like to say frighten the customers, since he makes some really weird dishes. Everybody knows about his wicked ideas, but his restaurant is always full and many people are in a waiting line for the reservation. People sometimes like to torture themselves or just have a little fun with unexpected surprises.
I finally got the reservation at Mr. White’s restaurant. I heard about some funny stories about him putting the fake cockroaches and other bugs in food and then assuring his customers that those are just fake bugs that are made of sugar and chocolate. I have also heard about the things that were popping out of the food or hot juice splashing out of the pork roast.
Any time something unfortunate happened, Mr. White would say that it is just a funny way that he used to greet his customers. Customers would be angry at the beginning, but they would get used to it very fast. Life is full of surprises, especially at Mr. White’s restaurant.
I sat at the table that day and waited for the daily menu. Mr. White keeps his menu secret and reveals it at the last moment. Then he asks you if you would like A, B or C daily meal. I decided to have the C meal. It looked like a normal meal that included soup, main dish and dessert. I waited for my potato soup to come. I felt hungry and I started to eat my soup right away. I took a few spoons and then something unexpected happened. Something burst inside the soup and my face was covered with potatoes and radish. I looked like a horrible monster from the lagoon and I was covered in yellow goo.
Mr. White came to me with an apology. “Oh no, I forgot to take out the gas balloon that we use as a taste enhancer. We apologize for inconvenience. Our waiter will help you immediately.” The waiter came right away and he spilled a bucket of cold water on me.
“Are you crazy, how can you spill cold water at your customers?”
“Sorry, out hot water boiler is broken. We will cook water now and give you some hot water instead.”
Suddenly, I was happy that there was no hot water. I could finish with third degree burns or something worse.
The next dish was the pork chops. This should be all right. I was hungry and I could eat a whole pig. The pork chops were really tasty and I cut the piece of meat little by little. When I came to the middle of one piece of meat, some terrible spicy taste came into my mouth. It was one hundred times spicier than anything I have tried before.
“Water, water”, I cried in pain.
The waiter came right away with a glass of something. I took a sip and found out it was vinegar. It only increased the spicy feeling in my mouth. Now the taste was unbearable. I ran to the bathroom and I drunk a few gallons of water.
Mr. White came back with an apology. “Mister, I am terribly sorry. While I prepared the pork chops a small piece of super spicy pepper fell on it. It was the super spicy pepper that we use in the competition. We actually give a full year of free food to anybody who is able to eat the super spicy pepper without crying.”
I had enough of it and I just waiter for my dessert. To my surprise it was just a normal ice cream in a cone. I licked the ice cream with pleasure and then something terrible happened. My tongue was stuck at the surface of ice cream. I tried to release my tongue from the ice cream, but it was useless. I thought that the ice cream will just melt away after some time, but there were no changes.
Mr. White came to me with an apology. “Mister, I am really sorry. We spilled some liquid nitrogen into the ice cream mixture. But don’t worry; it will melt in two hours.”
I was filled with anger and I wanted to beat up Mr. White really bad. How could I go out with an ice cream cone stuck to my tongue? I will look like an idiot. I decided to stay in the restaurant the whole time. I found out that I was not the only one with an ice cream cone on my tongue. Several other customers had the same problem. We couldn’t speak and we couldn’t complain.
Finally I left the restaurant with a bad taste in my mouth and cooked potatoes in my hair. Mr. White apologized and gave me a free coupon for food. I tore the coupon in small pieces and I ensured him that I will never come to his restaurant again. I think he got used to such reactions and he just smiled to me and said that it was his pleasure to serve me today.
I have realized that Mr. White is a really funny guy. Too bad that nobody understands his jokes.
